Can We Talk?

(This is the third in a three-part series on recognizing and dealing with internal resistance.)

In the first article in this series, we looked at identifying resistance that could result in sabotaging our goals.  The resistance we discussed is not the ones we encounter from the outside world - friends, family, competitors, environment and such.  The most crippling resistance is that which is within ourselves.

In the second article, we talked about how to deal with this inner resistance if we have it.  We looked at ways to determine if it was a valid concern or not (for us and for our particular circumstances.)  If we determined that it was, we took steps to remove the reasons that made it valid.

In this third article, I would like to talk about what we can do if we determine that the reason, the "yeah, but" is not valid.

Since it's not valid to start with, we can't just eliminate the reasons for the objection that our inner self is raising.  (It is not a reasonable, rational argument.) The inner self is not reasoning with us, it is warning us.

What can we do in this case?  (Hint:  We cannot argue back, exert our willpower, nor throw a temper tantrum.  These just don't work… when we consciously initiate them.  They work great, however for the "lizard brain" within us that is trying to prevent us from reaching our goal.)

What we can do, however, is to recognize and acknowledge the good intentions of our survival mechanism.  Once we recognize that these internal objections and resistance are originating from a part of ourselves that is interested in our survival and our success, we are in a position to work with it to achieve our goals.

The inner self is not reasoning with us, it is warning us.

Now, I just said that it is working in what it perceives to be our best interests.  So what do you do when an external party is blocking your efforts in a good-hearted, but misguided  attempt to help you?  You talk to them.

You talk to them, listen to the reasons for their attempts, and then gently explain and show them how they are mistaken in this case.

"Um.  John.  Did you just say that I should be talking to myself?"

Yes, I did.  Very perceptive of you.

"But only crazy people do that."

Where did you get that idea?

"It's common knowledge."

You'd be surprised how much "common knowledge" is incorrect.  In fact, I'll bet that if you listen to yourself, you'll find that you engage in conversations with yourself all the time… just not out loud.

"I don't do that.  Yes, you do.  Who said that?"

It was your inner voice.  You may even have several inner voices.  But, it's okay, they are all you.  Don't worry.

"Maybe I am crazy."

You'd be crazy not to turn the page...