Can We Talk?
(This is the third in a three-part series on recognizing and dealing with internal resistance.)
In the first article in this series, we looked at identifying resistance that could result in sabotaging our
goals. The resistance we discussed is not the ones we encounter from the outside world - friends, family,
competitors, environment and such. The most crippling resistance is that which is within ourselves.
In the second article, we talked about how to deal with this inner resistance if we have it. We looked at
ways to determine if it was a valid concern or not (for us and for our particular circumstances.) If we
determined that it was, we took steps to remove the reasons that made it valid.
In this third article, I would like to talk about what we can do if we determine that the reason, the "yeah,
but" is not valid.
Since it's not valid to start with, we can't just eliminate the reasons for the objection that our inner self is
raising. (It is not a reasonable, rational argument.) The inner self is not reasoning with us, it is warning
What can we do in this case? (Hint: We cannot argue back, exert our willpower, nor
throw a temper tantrum. These just don't work… when we consciously initiate them. They work great,
however for the "lizard brain" within us that is trying to prevent us from reaching our goal.)
What we can do, however, is to recognize and acknowledge the good intentions of our survival
mechanism. Once we recognize that these internal objections and resistance are originating from a part of
ourselves that is interested in our survival and our success, we are in a position to work with it to achieve our
The inner self is not reasoning with us, it is warning
Now, I just said that it is working in what it perceives to be our best interests. So what do you do when
an external party is blocking your efforts in a good-hearted, but misguided attempt to help you? You
talk to them.
You talk to them, listen to the reasons for their attempts, and then gently explain and show them how they are
mistaken in this case.
"Um. John. Did you just say that I should be talking to myself?"
Yes, I did. Very perceptive of you.
"But only crazy people do that."
Where did you get that idea?
"It's common knowledge."
You'd be surprised how much "common knowledge" is incorrect. In fact, I'll bet that if you listen to
yourself, you'll find that you engage in conversations with yourself all the time… just not out loud.
"I don't do that. Yes, you do. Who said that?"
It was your inner voice. You may even have several inner voices. But, it's okay, they are all
you. Don't worry.
"Maybe I am crazy."
You'd be crazy not to turn the page...