Now let me state that this issue is one that may need the help of a therapist to address.
If you address it on your own (or with a coach) and don't get the freedom or results you want, then I
encourage you to find a therapist to help with this. (I have seen good results by individuals on their own,
and also with the help of a good therapist -- psychologist, hypnotherapist, EFT practitioner, etc.)
Back to the "yeah, but". Is that valid? It is a very real fear. But it is no
different than what people of every size, shape, and hair color <wink> feel. We all want to be accepted
and liked. We all need to feel attractive.
That said, it will be very hard for this particular fear to really come to pass. Humanity has such a
diversity in taste and attraction that it is virtually guaranteed that there are others who find any (and all) of
us attractive. And with the world shrinking every day (through the internet and telecommunications) it gets
easier and easier to find those who are part of our "tribe".
Mary dealt with this particular issue in two ways. She knew some EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) already
and used that to begin addressing the fear of rejection. With that fear reduced, she was freed up to do some
brainstorming and she came up with the recognition that she could start maximizing her appearance right
She got a professional makeover for her hair and makeup right away. She immediately began garnering
compliments that bolstered her self-esteem. That gave her the encouragement to get with a wardrobe consultant
who helped her learn what to look for as she selected her transition wardrobe.
In the end, Mary found out that all those things that had been sabotaging her previous efforts could be
eliminated once she became aware of them and addressed them. And yes, Mary did reach her goal… and maintained
While I have used weight-loss as an example, the "yeah buts" turn up for just about every goal that you set
yourself. It is important to recognize them and acknowledge them in order to move toward your goal
In part three we will cover how to handle the "yeah, but" when it isn't really valid (for your
particular situation and context.)
State your goal and look/feel for the "yeah buts" that come up for you.
Once you have them identified, look at each one and determine if it is valid. If it is, look at what can
be done to address the point so it is no longer valid.
Need some help identifying your "yeah buts"? Or maybe you have them nailed but aren't sure how to turn
them into "yeah, let's go"?
If so, you may be a perfect candidate for Coaching For Success.
Because we all need a little help from time to time.